In the middle is my biological father. I think one of the best things about seeing your parents in their 40’s aside from knowing they’re still alive is that it gives you a vague idea of how you’re going to look at their age. My dad looks pretty handsome as a baldie, so I’m embracing it with open arms when it comes after I finish sobbing over never having post “You Don’t Have To Call” Usher waves again.

I spent each day of Christmas drinking with this man and everyone telling me I’m their cousin in disbelief. he sort of got me hooked to this one liquor called Johnnie Walker, taste just like Hennessy to me, I guess it was special because it came in a box. I was afraid the 3 days I spent with him and others was going to be hell but everything went better than expected. I even called myself trying to out-drink him and found myself sitting in front an open garage listening to my uncle tell me how he use to fuck chickens and how they would die because of his massively massive cock.